grossly sincere

I’ve decided that I need to take this whole blogging thing a little more seriously. I am going to make a blog post every week about whatever, be it a journal entry or a poem or some silly little blurb. I just need to write more, which is kind of funny (but not really), because I am constantly writing. It gets a bit tiring to write all the time, but professional writing versus personal writing is different. Switching from using a brand voice to using my own voice is a great change of pace.

But blogging is the perfect way to get all my thoughts out there and to put them out at length. I’ve subjected my Instagram followers to paragraphs and paragraphs of thoughts, and I would imagine trying to read tiny text on a temporary post is troublesome, or you see a block of text and think, “I’m not reading all that.” With blogging, you know what you’re getting into: reading a whole bunch of stuff.

Now jumping into my subjects for the week:

Last Saturday, January 18^th, I saw Geordie Greep in concert at Union Craft Brewing in Baltimore, Maryland. I love going to concerts and jamming out, and Mr. Greep and company jammed out pretty hard, making it a very enjoyable listening experience. His album, The New Sound, was a nice listen, though I didn’t find it ground-breaking. It was exactly what I thought his solo work would sound like, very ambitious and all-out, but its obvious influences made it seem like a love letter to latin/jazz rock instead of a completely new thing; it sort of makes the album title make the thing underwhelming, but I suppose the “new sound” is more of a reference to his pivot to a latin/jazz rock genre, as opposed to the crazy experimental “circus music” that could be found in Black Midi. (Quotes around that because that’s just what I’ve heard people describe it as, which I find kind of crazy but I suppose you could call it that.) But I guess all music is influenced by everything that has come before, and this was just a new take. It’s Geordie Greep’s vision in a new world. That’s not to say he isn’t a great musician or that his album was bad, I just knew exactly what I would be getting into from the first song alone; though “Holy, Holy” is what I was looking for more of.

I thought “Motorbike” was great, that one is more reminiscent of Black Midi than anything else, and it’s the only song off the album that affords a flash of moshing, almost teasing listeners and fans with what once was on an album called The New Sound. I haven’t read many other people’s takes on the album, so I’m not too sure how others feel about this track and its effect on the rest of the album; however, I think it says something that one of the other tracks that caught my attention is one that doesn’t sound like the rest of the songs, and the one that Mr. Greep is not singing. What it says, I’m not sure how much I can capture my thoughts on it, but I’ll try my luck: I used the word “teasing” to describe the moshing capabilities of the song, but I also find that the inclusion of a song like “Motorbike” on The New Sound when much of the album is coherent and gels together is a calculated choice: not only does the song create a contrast with the rest of the album, but its teasing nature paired with an album name like that seems to call attention to how fans were looking for or expecting something Black Midi-like. The Greep is feeding on expectation, and he gives you a small taste of what you want.

Anyways, back to the concert. Geordie Greep and his other bandmates (whose names I have sorely forgotten, he actually told the crowd their names about three times) were great live, all very skilled musicians. They were showing off a bit, which I liked—it’s wonderful to listen to musicians that know what they’re doing and will gladly show you that. I was impressed by Mr. Greep’s vocal performance as well; he was hitting those notes and I truly felt that during the show. I think the crows was enraptured by his performance, I looked around the room during “As If Waltz” (which I think is my third favorite song off the album) and all eyes were on him. No phones, no recording (except for me, who did record some of the song). I noticed that he has these very dark, small eyes that I wish I could peer into, face-to-face. Something about looking into people’s eyes really intrigues me. I want to look into everyone’s soul.

Other experiences I had at the Geordie Greep concert, which are a wonderful segue into my next topic: socializing with others. I walked into the venue and immediately bought a beer, and it was nice and refreshing and smooth and it got me tipsy after finishing it. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked this guy next to me to hold my spot, and he was very nice about it. When I was in the bathroom, a young lady told me I was very pretty and I was very shy and embarrassed about it, saying to her, “what an honor,” with my hand clasped over my mouth. We chatted about Black Midi and how her friend or partner wasn’t able to see them tour before they split, and of course, I had to flex that I saw them when Hellfire came out. I haven’t listened to that album since it came out because I fear that listening to it will bring back horrifying memories of my life during that time…

As I weaved through the crowd to get back to my spot, I ran into yet another young lady that I thought was cute, so I told her, “I like your bangs and your glasses, you’re very cute,” then I ran away. I got back to my spot, and I thanked the guy next to me and asked for his name: Harrison. Thanks Harrison. I doubt you will find this, but you were chill. It horrified me just a little bit when he introduced me to his friends, but they were all nice, too. I tried my hand at socializing with him, I think I said to him verbatim, “I’m shy but I want to try new things, can I chat with you?” At this point, I was tipsy, so I cannot say in confidence that he was cool with that, but he did chat with me for a tiny bit. I feel as though I dropped the ball when I didn’t ask him about the other bands he listened to after he asked me the same, but now I know that I need to bounce off other people if I want to make friends. Harrison and crew were all tall boys, but they were nice enough to stand out of view, for me at the very least, during the concert. I wish I could experience being tall at a concert… Maybe that could have been a point of conversation.

Listing off these social interactions at the concert are all just a way for me to ponder how I can be more social or how to be better at talking to people. For one, perhaps I shouldn’t run away or look terrified when someone talks to me, or when I talk to them. I think my own issue with trying to meet new people is that I’m too afraid that I won’t say the right thing. This is a very tricky topic for me to navigate, simply because I think that there isn’t the “right” thing to say; however, social norms do suggest that there are things you can say, and things you shouldn’t say. Perhaps thinking of interacting with others within a framework of saying the right thing will only make you say the wrong thing or be so in your head about things going well that you say nothing at all. Many such cases.

This blog post is getting to be very lengthy now. If you couldn’t tell, I lost a bit of steam once I started to lament my social interactions—which is actually something I need to work on. I would like to be better at telling stories or recounting my experiences with other folks in an interesting and engaging way. I may look to the Internet as to how to improve upon that, though I think trying my hand with a real, live person may be better.